As an inspirational health care speaker I’m often asked to present educational sessions on managing anger. Managing your anger effectively involves challenging the myths and also instituting an effective biological-psychological approach. This vital insight is central to enhancing your overall emotional intelligence.
In truth, anger is a completely normal reaction. So, first off, you don’t have a problem with anger, you have a problem with mismanaged anger.
Secondly, anger can be directed inward as well as outward. This "inward" anger can negatively affect your health. There is ample research to suggest that poorly controlled anger has detrimental biological consequences to the heart and lungs.
It’s also vital to manage your anger from a combined biological-psychological viewpoint. As a healthcare speaker, it’s clear most people don’t take this combined approach. (Even healthcare specialists, such as doctors, nurses and cognitive therapists, often don’t appreciate this crucial point.)
The Biology Of Anger
As you attempt to manage your anger, it’s vital to appreciate that it’s driven by a deeply ingrained brain circuit that’s much more powerful than most individuals imagine. A fixed structure that developed to protect our ancestors in a far more dangerous time and place.
A central part of your brain’s emotional response is driven by an almond-shaped structure called the amygdala. Any kind of perceived threat (physically dangerous or otherwise) can trigger this structure. Once aroused the amygdala produces a range of physiological activity. (All the “symptoms” of an angry state such as a rapid heartbeat, muscular tension in the shoulders, facial flushing and a lump in the throat.) What’s more, this entire biological circuit operates at an unconscious level. (FYI: This circuit, vital to your understanding of anger, was elucidated by Professor Joseph LeDoux.)
The Psychology Of Anger
Now you appreciate the raw power of your brain’s emotion pathway, let’s consider the (just as important) psychological aspects of the anger state. Psychological research has shown that our self-talk is full of unhelpful stories. (When I discuss these stories in my healthcare speeches, it’s clear people relate to them.)
One type of negative story we tell ourselves always begins with a question: “What if…?” As the esteemed cognitive therapist Aaron T. Beck has pointed out, one question of this nature often leads to more “what if” questions. Asking a series of these questions can create a downward spiral, resulting in catastrophizing.
A Healthcare Speaker’s Combined Approach
Here is the anger management strategy I teach in all my healthcare speeches; a combined biological-psychological approach. The problem with attempting to manage your anger using a strictly biological approach is that the unhelpful story you’re telling yourself will re-trigger the emotional brain circuit. Conversely, trying to reevaluate an upsetting story is difficult if you haven’t got the biological component of your anger under control.
The best way to get the biological component of your anger under control is to regularly practice some type of relaxation strategy. Personally, I’ve found meditation to be most effective. Regularly taking ten minutes out of my day (yep, it doesn’t take long) has worked wonders. When life gets stressful, it has helped me to “watch” my negative thoughts and feelings pass by without getting too caught up in them.
Regarding the negative stories. Simply appreciating that you’re being upset by a story you’re telling yourself can be very effective. In addition, you can challenge your negative story. For example, if you’re stuck in a downward spiral of “what if” questions, think accurate percentages and likelihoods. Sure, it’s possible you’ll get made redundant but what’s the actual likelihood (without the emotional overlay)? Or, if your self-talk contains lots of over the top absolute words like “total,” “completely” and “never,” replace them with relative words like “occasionally”.
Bottom line: Whatever techniques you choose to adopt (and healthcare speakers have a ton of them) just remember to take a combined biological-approach. This is the crucial key to enhancing your emotional intelligence, including managing your anger.
